Archive for the ‘EFT’ Category

Reframing

May 14, 2007

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Reframes (discussing the issue in a new light to see what positive aspects are there for a desired, but blocked, course of action) are much easier to use after tapping on the negative stuff. EFT produces profound cognition changes and effective reframes merely plug into the client’s new beliefs.

PoP 9: Our Antenna

May 14, 2007

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Our Antenna brings to our awareness information which is important. Affirmations, goals, and daydreaming serve to orient our Antenna so that we can “tune in” to aspects of our newly forming reality. The Antenna is really important as a Palace tool because it finds for us how to accomplish our goals. This is important for those who think that they first have to figure out “how to” part before they pursue a goal at all. But you must keep using the tools of affirmations and daydreaming in order to put your Antenna to work. You must not get off your track.

“The way to do whatever we want to do already exists. We just need to tune into it.”

PoP 8: Daydreaming

May 14, 2007

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The purposeful use of daydreaming is a powerful means of moving freely through the Palace of Possibilities. When combined with affirmations, goals, and EFT, daydreams become magnets that draw us ever forward into the possibilities of our future.

The power of daydreams

a) The brain does not distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined.

b) This allows us to condition our minds with the purposeful use of daydreaming.

c) We can actually create experiences (as though they were real) that were not there before.

d) Dreams do not necessarily come true, but they can take us in new directions.

If you want to create a “new you”, you can get there by vividly imagining it. That’s what daydreaming is all about. You vividly imagine yourself being the “new you”. Do you want to reach a new level? Imagine it first. Do you want to install a new health practice? Imagine it. Imagine the “new you” vividly and your brain will start taking you in that direction.

PoP 7: Goals

May 14, 2007

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Forming goals: Try asking these questions…

1) What dreams did I have as a child that I have given up on?

2) What would I do if my success were guaranteed?

3) Who do I wish I could be like?

4) What would I like to do that I haven’t been able to do yet?

Achieving goals

1) State what we really want.

2) Break the goal down into:

a) Sub-goals

b) Strategies

c) Tasks

To get to your dream you can start by working on smaller steps that seem more “do-able” and build up from there. There’s always a way. Develop one goal at a time putting affirmations behind each one. Establish goals and link them to affirmations.

Avoid the “how”

Most people try to figure out how to achieve their goals before they begin conditioning their thoughts in that direction. Then, if they don’t find an acceptable “how”, they won’t bother doing the affirmations. Who wants to affirm something that will only lead them into an unacceptable “how?” So, for now, forget the how! For some this may seem a bit crazy, but I’ll discuss the whys in a future posting.

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PoP 6: Will power

May 14, 2007

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If I am honest, I would have to admit that I am a somewhat lazy person with only a modicum of will power… One of the reasons that I like EFT is that (not only is it effective and simple) it is also relatively easy to do.

I guess that’s also one of the reasons that I came to Krishna consciousness! Not only is Krishna consciousness highly effective in its ability to purify the heart, but it is also comparatively easy to do as well (at least when compared to other yoga processes…).

It’s not uncommon that if things are very difficult (or time-consuming) then it’s easy for us to become discouraged and just give up. Of course, as Srila Prabhupada often pointed out, Krishna consciousness is “simple for the simple”…

Albert Einstein once famously said that, “Things should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler!”

Anyway, on a similar note, Gary Craig (the founder of EFT) has this to say about willpower:

“A person cannot force themselves to improve their self-image through some form of will power. In my experience, this tends to thwart the natural flow of the process. If the tail-enders are out of the way and proper motivation is in place, action automatically follows. If they don’t improve naturally, then look for more tail-enders. Properly done, there should be no will power involved.”

PoP 5: Guidelines for constructing affirmations

May 14, 2007

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1. You must affirm a want and not a should or “don’t want”.

2. You must believe your goal to be realistically possible.

3. Your goal must be a “stretch”. It must be big enough to be exciting.

4. The affirmations must be stated in the first person, present tense.

5. Augment affirmations with daydreams. Present tense daydreams are the most powerful tool for establishing new consistent thoughts.

6. Adjust affirmations from time to time to eliminate boredom. Aim them at different aspects of your goal.

7. Do not affirm the actions of other people. Use, “I attract others because I am a loving person,” not “John loves me”.

8. Keep them private. Announcing them to others might invite criticism and judgement.

PoP 4: The problem of tail-enders

May 14, 2007

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Many people experience that affirmations “don’t work”. This is because there is a piece missing from the practice of affirmations that is generally not known. This missing piece is the awareness of what is actually being affirmed. This is especially important because many people don’t realize that there are negative affirmations as well as positive ones. This means that the positive affirmation that is being stated is not the one that we are really listening to. For example, when we say an affirmation like…

I am a successful person.”

…what we “hear” after it is:

Yea, right. I’ve never been successful. I’m a born loser!

This is what is known as a “tail-ender”. Because of this, most people don’t have the experience that things change when they use affirmations. This is because the affirmation they are stating is not the one being affirmed.

As a result of the emotional tension between the stated affirmation and the unspoken tail-ender, people usually conclude that they are lying to themselves and give up on the process. Therefore, for positive affirmations to really work what we need to do is to erase the existing tail-enders.

To be able to make use of the power of affirmations, we must make sure the actual affirmations that are taking effect are the ones that we want.

This is where EFT comes in.

EFT serves as a highly effective “eraser” for all the negative emotions and beliefs that compete with our dreams. With the skilful use of EFT, each and every block to personal performance can be eliminated, thereby providing a clean “wall” on which to write our new consistent thoughts. Erase and replace. Erase and replace.

Once the competition is gone, the affirmation will have clear sailing. The combination of EFT and affirmations allows us to erase our blocks and install our dreams.

Deleting tail-enders

In order to “delete” tail-enders, spend a few minutes thinking about the problem and ask simple questions like:

“What is it about this affirmation that I don’t really believe?”

“What am I afraid might happen if I became healthy, went to mangala-arati, etc.?”

An example

The affirmation for deleting tail-enders to “I am a successful person” could be:

Even though it feels like I’ll never be successful and I’m a born loser, I’m willing to let this negative idea go and embrace my success.”

Of course, it’s particularly good to see if we can find any incidents in our life that led to the tail-enders (e.g. our friends always making fun of us when we lost a race) and work on the different aspects of those specific events.

PoP 3: The power of affirmations

May 14, 2007

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The most important thought that comes out of the Palace of Possibilities series is that:

“Our consistent thoughts become our reality.”

This is true both materially and spiritually. If somehow or other we can remember this and apply it, then it is probably one of the most valuable and powerful tool available. Essentially, yesterday’s thoughts (and subsequent actions) have created our present and today’s thoughts (and subsequent actions) will create our future.

Now, the problem is that we have both positive and negative thoughts. Fortunately, there are ways of conditioning our thoughts to be positive, rather than being strangled by our negative ones. One way to do that is through positive affirmations. Affirmations are amongst the most powerful tools we can use for personal transformation. Not only are they reliable, but they are also easy to use.

The persistent repetition of an affirmation conditions the mind to perceive things differently. As a result, an affirmation can eventually become installed as a consistent thought which then shows up in our reality.

In the next post I will discuss how to deal with one of the ways in which we sabotage this process of using positive affirmations.

PoP 2: The writing on our walls

May 14, 2007

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We live in a Palace of Possibilities. Many people are unaware of the Palace in which they live because they dwell in their own personal dungeons amidst thoughts of maltreatment, terror, and shame. Others wander freely through the many rooms of the Palace.

The words we write on our walls are our self-talk. They are the views, judgments, and ideas we have collected in our life. Much of this writing comes from authorities such as parents, teachers, friends, and the media. Although much of our self-talk is absurd, still we regularly consult it when deciding upon a course of action.

In conditioned life, these writings are our foremost “guru” and we consult them every day. The knowledge we have in our heads contains much which is useful for everyday living. For example, we wear heavy coats, not shorts in the winter, in order to keep us warm. However, our self-talk also contains much useless advice as well such as, “I’ll never be a good devotee because I have so many material desires, so why even bother trying?”

Fortunately, this “writing” can be rubbed out (and even over-written with positive information) by the proper application of EFT. I’ll give an example in order to illustrate the point:

A story: When I was 10 years old I was being driven home by my mother. There were several alternative routes and I suggested which way I would like to go. She took that route and we had a head on collision with another car when it came round the corner on the same side as us. I was uninjured, my mother ended up in hospital for several weeks. My whole life, ever since that accident, I have avoided making any kind of decision. There is writing on my walls which says:

My loved ones will get hurt if a make a decision, therefore I should never make a decision ever again!

This is a natural, but traumatic, reaction which crippled my life. Using EFT I can delete this thought from my walls. This would enable me to again make decisions and get on with my life. The setup phrase could be:

Even though making decisions is dangerous because Mom got hurt in that accident when I made a decision, still I can accept and understand myself and let go of my guilt.

And then I can tap on the meridian points using the phrases: “Decisions are dangerous” and “I shouldn’t make decisions”. Obviously, there are lots of other issues around such an accident that I would also want to work on in order to be free from any traumatic residue from it. The movie technique (outlined in a previous post) is very useful for dealing with complicated issues.

I gave some information about the basics of EFT in a previous post.

Investigating aspects

May 14, 2007

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Often, we need only apply one or two “rounds” of EFT to a specific traumatic event in order to nullify its emotional intensity. However, sometimes it seems that “nothing is happening” and we don’t feel better. One of the most common causes for this is that there are many different “aspects” to the problem – some issues have many aspects. In a sense these separate aspects are separate issues in themselves.

To give an example – suppose we want to work on the traumatic repercussions of an operation we had. If we apply EFT to “this operation” we are likely to make some headway. However, we can work on more specific aspects of the experience by asking ourselves: “What is it about the operation that still bothers me?” There can be all sorts of answers to this, such as:

1) My sense of abandonment when my parents left me alone

2) My fear of being with lots of strange people

3) My anger at that “nasty” nurse

4) The bright lights of the surgery

5) The ether mask

6) The terrible pain afterwards

We can then tap on each of these individually, treating them as separate incidents, until there is no emotional charge left in them. To find more aspects we can run the “movie” in our mind and see if anything else comes up that is upsetting or annoying in some way (see “At the movies” for a detailed explanation of how to do this).

One mistake often made in working on aspects is to tap on “My anger at that ‘nasty’ nurse” and then check in to how we feel about the operation as a whole. If there are other aspects that have not been dealt with (such as “The terrible pain afterwards”) then we my not feel any better – this is because we still have intensity left.

Remember, we often don’t distinguish between the aspects – it just feels like one big problem. First, we have to recognize that different aspects exist and then tap on each one separately.

During an EFT session emotions and perceptions can shift. It’s good to notice these changes and to work with any new aspects that come up as a result – e.g. rage can give way to a feeling of vulnerability. This can take us deeper into the problem and bring greater healing.